I wanted to write something on life’s little instructions, or lessons for life… And then I remembered “Disederata”; advice for life beautifully and poetically written by Max Ehrmann in the year 1927. This lovely prose is about “learn [ing] from the experiences and richness of time as it comes to pass” and about desired qualities of the soul for living a good fulfilled life. It teaches one that every age in life has its own charm and beauty; to leave the past where it belongs and to look to the future with a hope that the best is yet to come. It’s important to remember to be gentle with oneself in a world as harsh as the one we find ourselves in…
“Desiderata” means things which are needed or desired
This prose poem which my dearest grandmother had framed up on the wall was there in the most memorable years of my childhood, into my teen years and even in my young adult life. For many years growing up, I’d obliviously walked past the big barren-looking picture unassumingly containing all that wisdom. Without a single care nor worry in the world, I was blissfully unaware of life, nor comprehending what it may have in store for me further along my journey.
And I never took heed of the wealth of advice written on the humble picture, because how do you know what you don’t know if you don’t know that you don’t know it? It’s only recently in my adult life that I understand this prose poem and the invaluable wisdom it was offering all who cared to understand.
Advice for life and lessons I have learnt so far
- You have to live your life for you, on your own terms. Listen to the advice and guidance of your family and friends but be wise to make the final decision based on what’s best for you. When all’s said and done, everyone will carry on with their own lives and you will be left to deal with the consequences of the decision.
- Listen and learn. It is always better to listen and learn from others, sometimes they may have something to teach you- sometimes not. So be mindful of who you to listen to because not everyone has your best interest at heart.
- Your body and mind will break at some point– even if for a little while. Get up and keep going, because no season lasts for forever.
- If something doesn’t serve you, let it go and move on. Whether it be a romantic relationship, a friendship, a job… leave sooner than later. Because the more you stay the harder it gets to leave.
- Be kind and compassionate. Firstly with yourself (you need it too), and also with others. If you cannot help but be hard on yourself, remember the child you once were…
- Play. Don’t stop. It will only bring you joy. “We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing” George Bernard Shaw.
- Be open to new experiences and adventures. Travel (even on your own), do unfamiliar and scary things, eat food from other cultures, talk to people with a different perspective from you… life is meant to be an experience. Live, don’t just be alive.
- Invest in and build yourself up. Be aware that the biggest investment you should make in life is you. Put some work in and be intentional about being better than you are in the present. Many years down the line you will realize the difference it has made, and you will thank yourself for it.
- Take that chance. Or else you will always wonder…
- Find joy in ordinary things. Laugh a lot, its good for the soul. Be joyful and grateful. Stop chasing life’s big moments, forgetting about everything else in between. Cherish the little moments too; the everyday magical things that often go unnoticed. They can have the biggest and most wonderful impact.
Even though I never understood “Desiderata” then, it was brought to life in our young lives, personified in my grandparents. The words were lived out through their generous far reaching lives and in their loving ways. They were full of so much love and wisdom, and touched countless people and families. I could have known what was written in the poem by observing their way of life. A lot of eyes saw that poem, thousands on thousands I would say because of the people who would come and go in that house. Unfortunately many of them missed it. And so the importance of intention; knowing something is not enough, more important is putting what we know into action.
So be intentional about everything you do in life; create and nurture lifelong friendships, with people from all walks of life-even those who are a lot older (wiser) than you. The older ones have lived their lives and are often generous in sharing their knowledge and experiences. and will impart some wisdom into your life. They can guide you to some degree and help you along the way.
They will give you valuable knowledge and advise on how to live a good meaningful life, in the most truthful manner. For they have had their share of experiences, they have lived and are wiser for it.
Remember; good manners and good wine are timeless. Cheers to a life well-lived,
Makgoadi Ngoasheng
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